A wise decision... Huh!!!

I have banned some very entertaining Hindi News Channels for viewing from yesterday night. I'll surely miss out something on the entertainment front but again, excessive laughter is also harmful for your health. Actually, I have been watching a lot of TV these days because I was stuck in the house as heavens broke out once again in Mumbai. I was surfing through all the news channels, hoping to see any news regarding 'Citywide Holiday' being aired on any of the news channels. Each and every news channel was breaking this news that "It is raining very heavily in Mumbai". Deepaks (News Correspondents) of every news channel were reporting from each and every remote corner of the city and trying to prove that their area is the worst-hit area in the city.

News Centre Lady: Aaj Takriban ek saal baad firse Mumbai sheher main Jhama-Jham (I like that word) barishne apna keher barpaa hain... Log abhi 26 July ka woh hadsaa bhulne ki koshishhi kar rahe the ke kudratne apne takat ka Mumbai wasiyonko ek baar fir andaza dila diya... Pichle chaar dinse Mumbai mein Musaladhar barish ho rahi hain aur Mumbaike sare nichle ilakon mein pani bharne laga hain... Is bareme aur jankari leneke liye chalte hain Hamare sanwaaddata Deepak ke paas jo is waqt Mumbai ke Andheri ilake main maujood hain Deepak hamein batayiye ke ab waha kaise halat hain?

Deepak: (Suddenly realizing that he is on camera and bringing India-Pakistan war wala emotion on his face) Aparna Pichle chaar dinse yahan jordaar barish chal rahi hain aur sheherke sare nichle ilakon main ab pani bhar chuka hain... Log abhi dare huein hain aur gharse bahar nikalneko katra rahe hain (On second thought, I realized that Deepak had conveyed exactly the same message as the News Centre Lady). Aparna, main abhi yahan Andherike J. B. Nagar ilake mein maujood hoon. (One more redundant sentence BTW, thatÂ’s where I live these days) Yahan subahse jordaar barish chal rahi hain. (Aaaah... This Deepak guy is getting on my nerves now) Jaisa ki aap dekh sakte hain yahan ab pani ghutnese bhi upar ja chuka hain (Huh, finally something new). Camera suddenly moves from Deepak to a sort of swimming pool in the middle of a road. A lot of people are struggling to move into the camera frame. Kids are jumping in the water and throwing water at the camera. Pretty girls are moving gracefully through the swimming pool as if these few moments of fame are going to bring them their first Bollywood assignment. Camera again moves on Deepak and Deepak again wears that same "India-Pakistan war" emotion. Yahan ab sare nale puri tarah bhar chuke hain aur kai nichle ilakon main logonke ghar mein bhi pani ja chuka hain. Jaisa ki aap dekh sakte hain kai jagah gadiyan bhi pani main doob chuki hain. (Has Tata Motors finally come up with Rs. 1 Lakh car that drowns in Ghutnetak aya hua pani?) Surprisingly Camera actually moves on a Maruti 800 almost drown in water. In the middle of all this, I got up and walked towards my window as I heard people shouting outside and to my surprise I found our very own Deepak standing near the end of the road where one could see some jama hua water... Deepak and gang were busy in that corner only and they had managed to spot probably the only drowning Maruti 800 in the Mumbai at the end of the road... Most of J. B. Nagar was free from water and still Deepak was busy gathering reports on something which was only a fraction of reality... I was shocked but resumed watching the exaggerated news again.

News Centre Lady: Deepak, wahan aur kitni barish hone ka andaza lagaya jar aha hain?
(Question of the day, I must say)

Deepak: Aparna, agar logonka kehena mane to aisi barish Mumbai mein har saal hoti hain... Logonka manna hain key eh yahan ke 100 saal purani drainage system ki problem hain aur na ki kudrat ki... (This guy will surely get a 0 in PI for relevant content. :-))

News Centre Lady: Deepak, Mausam vibhag ka kya kehna hain ke aisi barish aur kitni der chalegi? (Slightly changing the question so that Deepak can comprehend it)

Deepak: Aparna, Mausam vibhagka kehna hain ke kudrat ka yeh keher aur teen-char din tak chalega. Agar yahan aur do-teen din aisihi barish chalti rahi toh yahan ka sara janjeevan ast-vyast ho jayega. (What a short and sweet answer to probably the only sensible question)

News Centre Lady: Deepak, wahan prashasan kya kuch kar rahi hain aise halat se nipatne ke liye? And the news continued...

This tickled the ever busy contemplating neurons in my brains. I remember how media put an entertaining touch to the Mahajan story with news titled "“Bhai bana Khooni"” etc some time back... The other day some news channel was trying to find similarities between Rahul Dravid and Krissh. (C'mon how stupid can you get?) During Kargil war some channels had imported experts to discuss what will be the next move of Pakistan and the list goes on... I, therefore, in the best of my interest decide to give the same treatment to these channels as I did to those Prime time soaps long time back... From now on I will only be increasing TRPs of some quality news channels like CNBC TV 18 and CNN IBN...