Fate of US of A?

A Collapse of the US of A...

Read the following hypothesis by a Russian professor on America’s eventual fate in the ongoing financial crisis. He thinks that rising debt, weakened financial position and growing influence of other countries on US will finally lead to disintegration of US into 6 states. A bold statement, but WSJ seems to be taking note... In fact the world seems to be taking a note...

Wall Street Journal Says:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123051100709638419.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

Watch the prognosis from the man himself - Professor Igor Panarin:
http://www.russiatoday.com/guests/video/1839

Terror in Mumbai - What the world thinks

Even as the Mumbai continues its battle with the terrorists, the questions which should have been asked a long time back are being asked... India dreams of making Mumbai a financial hub of Asia but the present crisis only emphasizes that a lot is yet to be done... The brand Mumbai and brand India is being damaged...

Here's what Wall Street Journal thinks about the terrorist attacks in Mumbai.

India's perpetually squabbling leaders have failed to put national security above partisan politics. The country's antiterrorism effort is reactive and episodic rather than proactive and sustained. Its public discourse on Islam oscillates between crude, anti-Muslim bigotry and mindless sympathy for largely unjustified Muslim grievance-mongering. Its failure to either charm or cow its Islamist-friendly neighbors -- Pakistan and Bangladesh -- reveals a limited grasp of statecraft.

The full article can be read here...
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122783260486063039.html

Terror in Mumbai

Yesterday night was a terrifying night for any Mumbaikar. A few unidentified terrorists attacked the city by resorting to indiscriminate firing and grenade attacks at different places. Even though the standoff between the security forces and terrorists still continues for more than 18 hours now, hundreds are feared dead and many more injured. This number is feared to be far more than what it is right now by the time the operation gets over.

At around 10:00 PM in the evening yesterday, the terrorists attacked The Leopold Cafe. Terrorists simultaneously opened fire with AK 47s at the iconic “Taj Mahal Intercontinental hotel” and “The Oberoi hotel”. Few more attacks were reported at “The Cama hospital” and “The CST railway station”. A bomb went off in a taxi in Vile Parle. This was followed by terrorists moving from places to places and firing indiscriminately at civilians and security forces. The terrorists held hostage a few guests at the hotels. Mumbai police and ATS retaliated to the attack but lost its important personnel in the process. The news reporters were relentlessly reporting the incidents of firing and portraying the general sentiment of fear which had gripped an otherwise energetic and fearless Mumbai. Telephone networks were jammed as people called their near and dear ones to ensure their safety. Blood, pain, fear and terror could be seen on the streets of Mumbai. As the things moved from bad to worse, the NSG and the paramilitary forces were called in to handle the situation. Kilos and kilos of RDX were recovered from different places. Live bombs diffused at a few places. It looked like a very well planned and coordinated attack on the financial capital of India. The world extended its support to India and vowed again to fight global terrorism with countless futile promises as Mumbai was still fighting the terrorist attacks. It was dawn and the standoff still continued. The people who escaped from the attacked hotels told that the terrorists were asking for people with US and British passports. The Taj Mahal hotel caught fire adding to the commotion. Several explosions were reported within the two hotels. Politicians condemned the attack and gave hour long interviews to the news channels. English cricket team cancelled its India tour midway citing security concerns. Businessmen demanded more security and a more conducive environment for businesses. Deccan Mujahidin owned up the responsibility for the act. Citizens grabbed their share of limelight on news media to report what happened. Mumbai was fighting terror all night as the world’s largest democracy watched. Mumbai was awake all night as the whole world watched.

Reasons for the attack?

Lot of theories will be cooked up and contemplated as to why Mumbai was attacked? I think it is not only Mumbai which is being targeted. It is the common man in the normal world being targeted. There have been several such attacks in different cities in India in the past few months. Mumbai, being a symbol of India’s strength is most obvious target. Mumbai has people from all over the India and in fact people from all over the world. An attack on Mumbai would be a symbolic attack on the peace and order in the whole world. Who were the attackers? The rift between the two worlds is pretty much obvious from what has been happening in the world since 9/11 in US. Every now and then we hear a new Mujahidin group popping up and carrying out different terrorist activities. Is there any solution to this? Resolution of long pending problems with neighbours and making efforts to close down the growing rift between the different countries in the Indian continent could be one possible solution.

Impact of these attacks?

Having stayed in Mumbai for 25 years of my life, I always thought that Mumbai is a very safe place. But this lifelong held belief is now being shattered. There have been sustained attacks in Mumbai from both internal as well as external factors. For the first time, Mumbai did not live up to its much celebrated spirit. The Mumbai was virtually brought to a halt by these attacks. These attacks will certainly damage brand Mumbai. Businesses will be moved. Venues of events will be shifted. Tourists will think twice before visiting Mumbai. I fear we are losing the ever accommodating, resilient Mumbai for past few years.

Will Mumbai bounce back?

Will such incidents affect the spirit of Mumbai? Time and again Mumbai has recovered from such terror attacks within days if not hours of the attack to get back to its original pace. Will Mumbai bounce back again? It sure will but I think this time, the attack has had an impact on people of Mumbai. At least I think that the so called land of opportunities is losing its sheen. May it be by being a target of external terror attacks or by being a target of internal friction. I strongly believe in Mumbai and would like to think that Mumbai will think its way out of the present crisis.

The Mechanic in me...

Want to know about the style of writer inside you... Here's a website that analyses your blog and lets you know your writer personality type:
http://www.typealyzer.com

Here's what the website has to say about this blog...




I do not completely disagree I must say...
Want to know how it works? Check out here

Update: 21st Nov 2008
As pointed out by Chetan, the algorithm now classifies me as a 'Duty Fulfiller'... A couple of posts here and there and the algorithm has changed my personality in a day... Developers need to look a bit more into the consistency... The brain map hasn't changed though.... Now, analysis of my blog goes something like this
Update: 28th Nov 2008
It is 'The Mechanic' again... I think I for some unknown reason like 'The Mechanic' more than 'The Duty Fulfiller'. The brain activity map has changed a bit this time indicating that I have started using my brain a bit more since last week. Weird, immature but acceptable nonetheless.

Is it Marketing? Cajoling?? Or Begging???

I got this mail from ICICI Credit cards a couple of days back... I do not know who advises ICICI on marketing and promotion but I don't think this kind of promotion will help...

They say: ""We miss you and would love to see you using our card".
Does this mail connect to me or strike a chord? Hell No...
Will it serve its purpose with other consumers? I don't think so...
Would they still love me so much if I miss them (monthly dues)? No points for guessing
Am I overreacting? May be Yes but I hardly expected this from India's largest private sector bank

One last question: Did subprime happen because of such cajoling mails?

The Ironic Insanity of Modern Man

Second Life affair leads to real life divorce... Check out this Article in The Guardian:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2008/nov/13/second-life-divorce

A real woman divorces her real husband for misdeeds in virtual world...

It is ironic that the more advacned we become technologically, the more insane we become. Foolish as it may sound to me, an average citizen in an emerging country like India, it is a fact and it is very much happening in reality... Gosh, God Help Western World...

Read Read... Till you are Dead...

Today, I received a couple of books from the college. While I was carrying the giants home, I realized that the 5 odd Kilograms of paper had around 1800 pages together. I have seven subjects in a trimester on an average. Now, simple mathematics tells me that I am expected to read around 6300 pages of textbooks this trimester. Please, note that this is only the textbook material and reference material suggested would be an equal amount of another 6300 odd pages. Add to these the daily ET and FT articles that the professors expect us students to read. Assuming the fact that I don’t read any of the reference material and I read about 3000 pages of blogs, newspaper articles, etc in a trimester, I am expected to manage about 9300 pages of reading.

As a normal B-school student, I can divide my work-day into following activities
Sleep – 6 hrs
Lectures and other classroom activities – 5 hrs
Other activities like competitions, projects, etc – 1 hr
News (Or should I say Bad News, etc) – 1hr
Eating, Travelling and other unavoidable daily activities – 2 hrs

This leaves me with about 9 hours in a day which I can solely dedicate to reading. Now with a speed of about 3 minutes a page, this will take me about 52 days to read the whole thing. Add to this the time that I should dedicate to internalise and contemplate on the matter and the figure crosses 2 months. I want the readers to appreciate the fallibility of the plan terms of tightness of the schedule here...

My term ends on 15th of December. This means that I have only 38 days left in this term. And unless I have a Time-turner like Hermione Granger has one in HP, I will not be able to complete the expected reading this trimester.

Conclusion:
Chetan (Class CR), please arrange for the books as early as possible in the next trimester so that I will be able to read the stuff... ;-)

Food for thought:
I wonder how Nidhi (Class Topper) manages to read it all in time ;-), faster reading speed may be...

Check your gender online...

Check out this simple script that tries to guess your gender based on the recent sites that you have visited. It works like this... If your surfing habits are skewed towards websites having more male/female visitor ratio, then your Male score increases and if otherwise, your Female score increases. Final verdict for me is that I am a male and so are my surfing habits...



You can check out your own gender at the following link ;-)
http://www.mikeonads.com/2008/07/13/using-your-browser-url-history-estimate-gender/

And there's more...

Wall Street Journal also supports the view that the days of fat pay packages in the financial sector are over.

http://s.wsj.net/article/SB120933096635747945.html

The sector as a whole will surely take time to bounce back but I think the role of raising and managing capital is too important to be 'any-less important'. May be it is my heart and not my brain speaking this time but it has happened in the recessions of the last few decades and though this promises to be larger one and a more painful one, I think it will happen again this time...

Impeccable Timing...

I could not have chosen a more (in)appropriate time to do MBA in Finance... Amol Agarwal discusses excesses in the global financial sector and paints a realistic picture of the future here...

http://mostlyeconomics.wordpress.com/2008/10/06/quantifying-financial-sector-excesses/

On a more brighter side, this will really clean-up the system and prepare the financial sector for next leg of innovation...

Google Chrome: First Take

Google has launched a brand new web browser called 'Google Chrome'. It is a bit difficult to understand the need for Google to launch another browser of its own when it was already supporting and funding Firefox (Check out here...). Naive as I am in business strategy, let me do what I think I am good at... Evaluation of Google Chrome...

Let’s look at the features of Google Chrome as stated on Google Blog

One box for everything

The address bar serves all your browsing needs Web Search, Web history, suggestions and address bar...

I think:

Nice, Sleek and well implemented...

New Tab Page

Every time you open a new tab, you will see a visual sampling of your most visited sites; most used search engines, recently bookmarked pages and recently closed tabs.

I think:

Other than the recently closed tabs feature (because I tend to close some tabs accidently at times... Still getting used to the touchpad...), I think all the other features are either copied or unnecessary or both.

Application Shortcuts

Use web apps without opening your browser. Application shortcuts can directly load your favourite online apps.

I think:

This is a wonderful feature and I have already created a couple of application shortcuts.

Dynamic Tabs

You can drag tabs out of the browser to create new windows, gather multiple tabs into one window or arrange your tabs however you wish -- quickly and easily.

I think:

So what... I mean... Does Google think that I like to play screen design game on my computer?

Crash Control

Every tab you're using is run independently in the browser, so if one app crashes it won't take anything else down.

I think:

Much required feature... My only concern is that if each tab creates a new process, then it is surely going to be a problem for a 20-30 tab user... Need to check this one with actual tests... So I hold on to my verdict here...

Incognito Mode

Don't want pages you visit to show up in your web history? Choose incognito mode for private browsing.

I think:

This feature is really cool... For obvious reasons... I know that this feature is gonna be a hit with everyone.

Safe Browsing

Google Chrome warns you if you're about to visit a suspected phishing, malware or otherwise unsafe website.

I think:

Big deal... IE has this feature... FF has this feature...

Instant Bookmarks

Want to bookmark a web page? Just click the star icon at the left edge of the address bar and you're done.

I think:

Remember, the star at the right end of the address bar? Guys, you have copied this from FF...

Importing settings

When you switch to Google Chrome, you can pick up where you left off with all the bookmarks and passwords from your existing browser.

I think:

No one would have used Chrome if this feature was not incorporated. Again, every browser I know of has this feature...

Simpler Downloads

No intrusive download manager; you see your download's status at the bottom of your current window.

I think:

Frankly speaking, I don’t mind if my download manager opens another window or sits quietly in the bottom of the browser... As long as it is downloading stuff... that is... Nice feature to have though... Just another unwanted feature you see...

Developer Tools

Included in the menus, are the developer options of "View Source", "Debug JavaScript", "JavaScript console", and "Task Manager".

I think:

Good one for people like me who have habit of copying code whenever they come across a cool JavaScript website... Task Manager feature is a big hit for me... The 'stats for nerds' is another wonderful thing... Google also says that API for third party developers is coming soon... Expect loads of Plug-ins in the days to come...

Configuration

The browser was built with simplicity in mind and there are only a very small set of configuration options to worry about.

I think:

Mission accomplished when you see the minimal configuration settings. No one can beat Google at simplicity. No One...

Memory Test

Now for the most important part... They are fast they say... Let’s check it...

Scenario:

5 Gmail Windows + 3 Google Reader Windows + 5 Google Search + 4 NMIMS Home page Windows + 1 ICICI bank page + 5 Wikipedia Pages + 2 Orkut Pages

I checked memory footprint and number of processes when I open all of this in different tabs in FF and Chrome. The results...

Firefox Memory Footprint

Chrome Memory Footprint

The difference is pretty clear... New process with each tab means loads of processes and loads of memory usage... The bugs related to memory leaks, improper garbage collection, etc will only be evident after I use it for some more time...

Final Verdict

Some features, it scores well... Some features are copied... But all in all, I will give it a score of 3 on 5. (See how a mediocre job hurts when you set a very high benchmark for yourself...)

Ma... Main Ghar Aa Raha Hoon Ma...

Yesterday, I went to my home after almost a couple of months. Yes, it had been two months since I had visited my home and last few days my mom called me every day and asked me “Beta, tune ghar chod to nahi diya?” I had hard time concincing my mom that I was busy with all the presentations, case studies and other unimportant things that I was doing in life and that was the only reason for me not showing up every week which and it meant that I was still the same old loving son that left the home a couple of months back.

On a serious note, life has been a little hectic since I have joined NMIMS for my two year MBA course. I am living the hostel like life that I always wanted to experience. Even though it means doing a lot of daily chores like waking up myself (And my roomies) every morning, ironing my clothes, making my own breakfast, washing my clothes, etc. Life is enjoyable. At the moment I am staying in a rented apartment about an hour and a half from my home. (Why? Because, I don’t want to spend one eighth of my time travelling in a bus or a train...)

My typical day goes something like this:

It starts with me, cursing at my alarm clock and getting up at around 07:30 AM in the morning after snoozing it for an hour or so. That follows a newspaper reading session of about half an hour when I read the morning newspaper and imagine myself drinking mom-made tea like good old days. After getting ready to go to college and managing a quick breakfast (And missing it most often because I am late), I start off for the college.

Auto-Rickshaw or a 20 minute walk from my place takes me to my college. Then there is the usual daily dose of enlightenment from some fascinating professors on some even more fascinating subjects which I pretend to understand ;-). That leaves me with only half of the day for doing something useful. At around 1 o’clock in the afternoon, I eat some Biryani, Pulao, etc along with a cup of tea in the canteen. That follows a lazy afternoon session of project/ case study discussion where people work diligently on some critical aspects of the project presentation like font of the presentation, colours to be used in the presentation, etc sidelining some of the more trivial aspects such as content of the presentation, etc. After fighting for a cause that no one in the group is sure about but everyone in the group wants to fight for, there’s again a chai-session at the tapri outside the college.

By this time, I realize that I have only a fourth of the day left with me to do something useful (In the MBA lingo, something that adds value to my being). Then, after all the day’s hard work, at around 6 o’clock in the evening, there is a mail from Chetan (He is class CR and is the actuator, stimulator, guide of our otherwise lazy class) stating that the presentation we’ve been fighting out about has been postponed to the next week and now we have another presentation instead. People utter some good words of appreciation for Chetan and this sets stage for another similar fighting-cum-discussion session that runs well into the night. At around 9 o’clock in the night (Or night for normal people), my stomach starts making me aware of its presence and I head back to canteen for a quick bite. After finishing the presentation (rather finishing off the presentation), I head back home where my dinner is waiting for me in the dabba that that black, old, shabby man delivers. Now, the man and his appearance is very important here because I suspect that he’s the one making the dabba indicated by the little smirk that he shows me every time. I eat my dinner, watching Olympic game highlights and contemplating whether that shabby delivery boy is the one who actually makes my Tiffin.

Then, there is a chatting-cum-music hearing-cum-reading-cum-mail checking-cum-googling-cum-contest registering-cum-previous contests’ result checking-cum-frowning at the result session that starts at around 11:30 PM. This is when I end my day at around 02:00 AM in the morning.

On a lighter note, this schedule also has some interesting sports, competitions, paper presentations, festivals, excellent guest lectures, wonderful regular lectures which add a spice to the whole thing. I think this hectic but enjoyable schedule is something that makes B-School experience pleasing.

Coming back to the topic, I wasn’t able to go home for some time because of such self-inflicted hectic (or is it?) schedule and finally, after getting ultimatum from my sister on Rakhi, I went to my home and in its cosy comfort again.

You don’t realise the importance of your home and your family unless you are away from it for some time, especially if you’ve lived in your home all you life... like me. I used to take everything for granted when I was staying at my own home for 25 years but it is only now that I have come to understand the importance of my home and family. On that senti note and with “Koi Aaney Wala Hai...” from Strings playing in the background, I think I should head to bed now...

Goal

"What is your ultimate goal in life?" That was the question I was asked in the 'Values in Management' class the other day... I must admit that I felt the same what Rakhi Sawant would... when asked “What do you think about being sensible?”

“I want to be happy”, I said - An all inclusive and simple answer. But, what is it that makes me happy? Money, Power, Friends, Family, What? It is very uncharacteristic of me to think about such things, but one needs a mission statement in order to accomplish something. Ideally, I would want to accomplish whatever there is to be accomplished in the world. But, given the fact that there are only 55*365*24 hours of life left (in the best of conditions) to achieve whatever I want to achieve, I must cut down my wants to a few.

I know for sure that the money drives the world and can be traded for other mundane things in life... That makes money the most important thing to gain. What is money if you cannot put it to use for your loved ones... That means I want a very good family and friends with whom I can share my life (and money), go on a lot of vacations and spend a lot of time.

There are several ways to achieve my first want. Let me start with the simple ones...

I can just do nothing about my want and let my luck (which has been a not seen, not heard, not felt thing till now) play its own role. May be I will continue to do what I am doing at present and expect some amir baap ki beti to marry me or maybe I will win a billion dollar lottery some day. Again, given the reality of lack of luck in my life and my inability to attract girls like that guy in the axe advertisement (Read as my decency), I need to find out better ways to earn money.

This leaves me with only one more option... Study a lot, earn a handful of degrees, work with the best of the companies at best of the positions earning best of the salaries and earn money. But, more salary means more work, more business trips and less time with family and friends. That means my two wants are conflicting and I need to maximize both when both are negatively correlated (Yes, I also have a stats professor who asks me questions and he teaches me things that help me analyse things like correlation coefficient between the number of words spoken by the professor in the class and the number of paper-planes created-launched and crashed by the students in the class)

Jokes apart, I think when there is a conflict between my two wants, I would prefer my family and friends over money. I just hope that my family and friends make a lot of money so that I need not face such hard times ever ;-)

Among the other breaking news, I have been starving for a few days now and extracting all the nutrients that I need for survival from the cutting chai served at a tapri near college. The phenomenon has obviously taken a toll on my health and I have not been able to pretend to concentrate in the classes these days. This may seem to be an overstatement considering the fact that I live in Mumbai but I have really come to understand the worth of ghar ka khana while I have been away from home. So, weekend or off-day food at home is like a grand party for me these days.

Anyway, that is enough for now; a garma garam cutting followed by lot of knowledge-imparting classes are waiting for me...

Mutual Funds are subject to manipulation by distributors. Please know your basics well before investing

Has your investment advisor ever advised you to buy a mutual fund because the fund has announced a cool 30% dividend? Chances are that he has because mutual fund distributors are luring people into buying mutual funds by telling them about the 10-20 odd percent dividend the fund has declared. Dividend within a week of investing into the fund… Sounds Cool… Isn’t it? But wait a minute, there is more to it than what meets the eye.

Consider the dividends declared by different tax saving ELSS (Equity linked Saving Scheme) funds

• Birla Equity Plan (Mar-08)
• Birla Sun Life Tax Relief 96 (Mar-08)
• SBI Magnum Tax Gain (Feb-08)
• HDFC Tax Saver (Mar-08)
• Sundaram BNP Paribas Tax Saver (Mar-08)
• Principal Tax Saving (Mar-08)
• Fidelity Tax Advantage (Mar-08)
• DSP - ML tax Saver (Feb-08)
• Lotus India Tax Plan (Jan-08)

Most of the funds seem to have declared the dividends during last few months of the financial year, the time at which most of the people do their tax planning and thus invest in mutual funds and other instruments. The distributors use these dividends to attract the investors. However, investors have to realize that they are at a big loss when they buy into a mutual fund just before the record date (the date on which you should have the units of the fund on your name in the books to be eligible for dividend). This is a classic case of miss selling. Let’s see how…

Let’s get to the basics first. As we all know, mutual funds are a form of collective investment which enable many people to pool in funds and have a common diversified portfolio managed through professional fund managers at relatively low costs. The NAV or Net Asset value of a fund is
NAV= (Total Holdings Value+ Cash)/ No of units sold

When a mutual fund declares a dividend, it liquidates its holdings and converts them into cash for distribution to the unit holders. Consider a fund having total assets worth 1000 Rupees and 100 outstanding units. So, the NAV of the fund is 1000/100=10. Now, if the fund announces a dividend of Rupees 5/unit, then it sells off its holdings worth Rupees 500 to generate Rupees 500 worth cash which is then distributed to the unit holders. So, its NAV reduces to a value which is approximately equal to the dividend declared (approximately and not exactly because of certain variables like portfolio appreciation on the record date, dividend distribution tax, etc) . This means that you are, in effect, being returned your money back when you receive a dividend payout by a mutual fund.

Consider a scenario where you have Rupees 1000 to invest in a mutual fund scheme. The fund has an entry load (the initial amount deducted towards distribution/ marketing costs) of 2%. The Fund NAV before dividend is Rupees 10 and the dividend declared is Rupees 5/unit.
When you invest the amount just before the record date, the fund deducts 2% entry load i.e. Rupees 20. Part of this amount is handed over to the advisor as a commission. For simplicity, assume that the entire entry load is passed onto the distributor as commission. So, in our case, your investment advisor gets Rupees 20 in commission. Out of the remaining amount (i.e. Rupees 980), the fund units are bought for you at the prevailing NAV (i.e. Rupees 10/unit). So you have 98 units of the fund before record date. Post record date, you get a dividend of Rupees 5/unit. (i.e. 98 X 5 = 490 Rupees)

Case I (Before Dividend)

Total Amount	Fund NAV	Units owned	Amount in Fund	Cash Owned	Commission Paid
1000	10	98.00	980.00	0.00	20.00
(Investment, After Dividend is declared)
1000	5	98.00	490.00	490.00	20.00

This means that in effect, to invest 490 rupees in the fund, you end up paying 20 rupees load (or commission)

On the other hand, if you buy into a mutual fund just after the record date, you end up paying lesser commission. Consider the case when you invest rupees 500 in the same fund on the next day of the record date. The 2% load is deducted in this case also and amounts to Rupees 10. Out of the remaining amount, (i.e. Rupees 490), the units are bought for you at the prevailing NAV (i.e. Rupees 5/unit). So, even in this case you have 98 units of the fund at a purchase price of Rupees 5/unit

Case II (After Dividend)

Total Amount	Fund NAV	Units owned	Amount in Fund	Cash Owned	Commission Paid
1000	5	98.00	490.00	500.00	10.00

In both the cases mentioned above, effectively, the investor has same amounts invested in the fund. This means that the chances of capital appreciation are exactly the same in both the cases. However, in the first case, the investor ends up paying extra load and has less cash available with him.

It is clear from the above example that the distributors have a selfish intent in promoting and selling mutual funds just before they declare dividends. The investor, on the other hand loses out. Please note that the mutual funds do not claim that buying a fund before dividend is profitable... but again, they do not clarify this fact either. So, next time, do a little bit of homework before you take advice from a distributor. It is your hard earned money after all…

HR - Human Rigging

Look what I found in my mailbox the other day...

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...
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"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee"

True... Very true... What about the nice HR lady who wooed me into my first job during my campus placement...

And what about the glossy, well-lit conference rooms that lured me into my second...

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